How to Mow the Lawn When You Have ADHD

How to mow the lawn with ADHD (yes, I know it is over-diagnosed but please don't take the Dx away from me, I need it desperately)...

Take an hour to decide that you are actually going to mow the lawn. Locate the mower. Drag it out and check for gas. Locate the gas, fill mower, don't worry about spilling a little gas in your hurry to fill the tank. Go inside to wash gas off your hands. Come back out. Look for ages for the cap to the gas tank of the mower. Go inside in case you brought it in. Go in and out of the house five more times because the darned thing was JUST here five minutes ago and it can't have gone far but you might have left it in the bathroom, at the top of the ladder, who knows... find some earbuds on one of your journeys through the house, locate ear protection and spend a few minutes fixing the music under the ear protectors so you will have something to listen to while you are losing your sanity looking for something that was JUST here. Realize that yelling and screaming will do no good since no one is at home and the most likely people to hear you are the brand new neighbors whom you have yet to meet. Decide to attach a baggie with a rubber band over the gas tank. Pull on the starter a few times and realize you have lost your gloves. Go in and locate them fairly easily on the kitchen counter. Pull a few more times and swear under your breath because you have to call a MAN to help you out. Reluctantly pull Tom Petty out of your ear and call your out -of-town husband in case there is a spark plug to attach or something. He says to put it on "choke" and you just want to kick yourself and say "DUH" and are really glad your husband is too nice to say it for you. Spend some time re-inserting Tom Petty under the ear protectors, move the bar to "choke", congratulate yourself on starting it on the first pull and watch something shoot out of the side of the mower. Examine it and realize that the gas cap is no longer missing, but mangled beyond repair. Leave the whole mess and come in and write about it on facebook.... Then, having recovered from the brink of insanity, go out and mow. Half way through, when you replace the earbuds that have fallen out, ask yourself, "where the hell are the ear protectors?" Shrug and say, "well the Indigo Girls are probably going to damage my eardrums more than the sound of the mower." And, no, I do not make this stuff up or embellish just to write about it. I only wish that were the case.